I have to admit, I've been lax about moderating the Topical Blog group over the past couple of weeks. We take turns choosing topics, and all write based on that. So, to get back on track, at least for myself, I'm using this week's topic from Logan's Blog:
How am I doing today?
That question is so ... I don't know ... begging for honesty. So, I'll answer with honesty.
Today, I am filled with joy BECAUSE I am filled with disappointment.
Over the past ten days or so, life has been happening. I wrote in my journal about a specific desire that I have in my heart of hearts, having to do with a situation at home having to do with a conflict between his values and mine. Psalm 37:4 tells us, "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart." Well, this desire, which is something very, very important to me, is something that Jim really wants no part of. Not in the past, not now, and not in the future. (No, it has nothing to do with children!) I got so caught up in the disappointment of not having a "complete" relationship with my husband because there may never ever be a resolution to this particular rift. The disappointment was so great that I'm sure the "d" word entered our imaginations, even though neither of us wanted to admit it.
Today things changed. Today I was reading a book that takes a look at the themes of the Twilight series of books, from a Biblical perspective. (More on this book in a later post.) The section I read today had to do with chasing after your desires. You see, we are imperfect people, living in an imperfect world. Whether your desire is a car, a new job, money, love, or a closet full of shoes, eventually you will be disappointed. The only thing that will truly give you fulfillment and not disappoint you is a relationship with God through Jesus Christ.
I felt as though I got whapped upside the head. People will eventually let me down, no matter who they are. It's not necessarily intentional, but it's gonna happen. It's supposed to happen! When it does, it will hurt - for a while. Sometimes it will hurt a lot, for a long while. It's part of this imperfect life, with imperfect people, who act imperfectly.
God in His divine providence gives us the gift of disappointment. I refer to it as a "gift" not because it is anything we particularly enjoy, but because God gives it to us to draw us closer to Him, where we can receive His abundant grace and unfailing love.
Yep, today I am filled with joy because I am filled with disappointment.